Why grooming victims don't escape: the tactics that trap them
Linguistic research of convicted groomers reveals 14 recurring tactics. These build trust, shift blame to victims, and make escaping feel impossible.
Researchers analyzed conversations between convicted offenders and volunteers posing as children. Grooming does not follow the obvious staged pattern most people imagine.
Offenders use 14 recurring tactics tailored to each target instead. Heavy rapport-building runs through the entire interaction.
Offenders share personal information and compliments to build trust and intimacy. Groomers assess risk by checking whether targets are likely to engage and accessible.
They shift responsibility through language. Questions like "how far do you want to go" assume interest and make refusal harder.
Researchers found a technique called the "mitigating lol" (like "u should send me a nude vid lol"). It reduces the impact of sexual requests by suggesting playfulness.
Celebrity status makes trust-building easier. Targets already feel they know the person and feel special being approached.
- 14 recurring moves
- Tactics identified
- Perverted Justice organization
- Source of conversations
Why it mattersUnderstanding how grooming actually works helps explain why victims do not escape at obvious moments. Questions like "why didn't they say no" miss how the tactics work.
AustraliaThis research informs how Australian schools, parents, and support services educate children and respond to victims, shifting focus from victim-blaming to recognizing manipulation tactics.
